⚠ OFFICIAL GODZILLA TOURISM AUTHORITY ⚠

WELCOME TO ZILLA TOUR

Come for the monster.
Stay for the infrastructure.

Zilla Tour accepts no responsibility for emotional, structural, municipal, or psychological damage.

SPECIMEN REPORT // ZT-0069

THE SPECIMEN

Scientists have spent decades studying Godzilla. Somehow, they missed the most important part.

SPECIES GODZILLA

HEIGHT BIG AS HELL

THREAT LEVEL SEVERE

CAKE LEVEL UNPRECEDENTED

STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY QUESTIONABLE

CHEEKS 2

🔴 LIVE ZILLA CAM

Live surveillance provided by people who really should be focusing on the evacuation.

🔴 LIVE — EVACUATION IN PROGRESS

MONITORING CHEEK ACTIVITY...

⚠ CLASSIFIED GOVERNMENT RESEARCH ⚠

ADVANCED ASS ANALYSIS™

Proprietary Zilla Tour technology continuously monitors the specimen for scientifically important developments.

TARGET ACQUIRED

CHEEK DENSITY 97.4%

CAKE RADIUS CRITICAL

CLAP MAGNITUDE 8.7

THICC INDEX™ 999

ZILLA ASS ANALYSIS TERMINAL v6.9.420

> INITIALIZING CHEEK SCAN...
> LOCATING SPECIMEN...
> SPECIMEN LOCATED.
> GOOD LORD.

DOCUMENTED INCIDENT #002

UNAUTHORIZED DISCHARGE

Cause of discharge remains under investigation. Officials have declined to explain why anyone was standing there with a camera.

STATUS: ABSOLUTELY FUCKED

IMPORTANT ZILLA FACTS

FACT #1

Godzilla is large.

FACT #2

Godzilla is dangerous.

FACT #3

The situation behind him is considerably worse.

SURVIVOR TESTIMONIALS

“I thought this was a normal Godzilla tour.” — ★★★★★ Verified Tourist

“There are some things you simply cannot unsee.” — ★★★★★ Verified Tourist

“Would visit again.” — ★★★★★ Suspicious Individual

THE GOVERNMENT HAS ABANDONED US

FUND THE CHEEK RESEARCH

Your generous contribution helps fund advanced ass analysis, Zilla surveillance, and absolutely nothing of scientific value.

💸 DONATE TO THE CAUSE 🍑

Funds may or may not be used responsibly.

YOU ARE VISITOR

0069420

congratulations. unfortunately.

ZILLA TOUR EMERGENCY CONTROL SYSTEM

DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON

🦖

ZILLA

⚠️ EXTREME CAKE EVENT ⚠️

SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY